Today I felt like writing

https://instagram.com/p/BMc7sUABhx2/    @tanvi_nn

                            Slow down, the world is going to roll with enormous speed. One doesn't need to be always in the race. Sometimes all you need to do  is to sit back, watch and reassess your life. Things might have gone differently had you made a few choices and you wouldn't be here at all. It could've been better or worse. But today all you need to do is relax. See where you've come and what/who you've left behind. The most important thing to feel is gratitude, for everything that has happened so far. 

Because the numerous decisions you've made till date have gotten you here. Look around, look at yourself in the mirror. You've changed, the world has shifted just a bit. You've ripened into sweet-sour grapes. So note down in your journal of gratitude, how far you've come from the point you had once started. How much you've grown, and how far you wish to travel. Don't just follow the herd, listen to your voice inside. It has something important to say, because like the ever changing world your dreams and wishes change too. Perhaps you no more want a doll house, you might want a mansion now big enough to live in it. You might not  want to fight anymore, then just love. Perhaps you still want to work towards the same goals, then continue with refined tastes. The legendary are the lot who've practiced this very often, because in this whole wide world it's fairly easy to get lost. To get demotivated and feel disappointment. The key is to be persistent in your efforts, and display great sincerity in your work. There is no short-cut.

To most of those young adults like me who've numerous dreams, and want to do it all but have to battle everyday to only get through one day at a time, I urge, to reflect back. Time is never going to stop for you but that doesn't mean you'll become a slave to it. Redetermine your goals folks, failure is inevitable, that doesn't mean you're incapacitated. If you're treading on dangerous paths then remind yourself why you chose that in the first place. 

I've chosen a life which is going to be full of hardships. There are so many who've advised me in numerous ways to take the easy route, my own people have told me that I've got options( I can quit and choose something easier). I've listened to all of them. Felt all sorts of emotions, cursed myself for putting 'self in this situation and always gone back to the beginning. I've always wanted to do this, become a doctor and help people, contribute to  researches, and spend my life with it.  That moment in August when my life was going to be over in a matter of seconds, right in front of my conscious eyes, I realised how precious was the title doctor to me. 

The only thing that came to my mind during that accident was, “upon dying/permanently disabling myself  I would lose my years of education & training I had put so much effort into. It would all be such a waste if I die today.” 

That day I knew I had to complete what I had started. The wheel had started turning, the carousel was spinning and I just had to gratuitously start working towards my objective. “It's not easy, there's no hope, you're wasting your time, you're unwelcome, you're inadequate,” I've heard this so often by now, I feel numb. Even if I'm  a speckled dust into the vast forest, I would take pride in existing. 

Someday, soon I will make a difference. 

And to discern the veil of pessimism that falls on me, I will always light a candle with my knowledge.
T