The walk alone

             
                        I went out today, alone and unbound to any person. I still am not feeling well, but today I felt I could stand alone. I went without telling anything to my mum, she sure was worried, she asked me many times since last week, if I was upset with her or anyone. She today asked me again if I am upset, because I don't talk to her.
                                       
                                              I walked down the path without any thought. I didn't bother about the prying eyes of people on the streets, some familiar might have recognized me some just ignored. my school friends whom I might have had long forgotten must have given a look of familiarity but I just turned away, aware of the prying eyes. I wanted to be alone. I went along walking my way to the nearby hill, saw the police and the people alike working on the metro site, I was saddened at the thought that I won't be able to see the skyline. I walked along listening to the humming of my cell phone (From outside it appeared like I was listening to songs). I finally went and stood on a place where I could see the skyline, I was alone, and I was broken and I still am. The people, the traffic and the buses alike couldn't bother me by any measure. I was thinking about my life, I realized I am so distracted that I couldn't concentrate on even one aspect.

                                                  One thing that is pulling me down is that I am no more that open to anyone, I can't concentrate on anyone who tries to strike a conversation, I just can't talk to anyone. Even the smallest of things brings tears to my eyes and the closest of my friend feels miles away when I am beside her. I just don't want to understand whats going on. I can't wait to board my flight back. Fight back those tears when I enter the plane and cry silent lonely tears when the wheels roll on the runway to begin the take up. That would be the end, or so I foresee. Time will tell though.

Belonging to a place and then shifting your base. I was thinking about the first day when I came to this city leaving a place where I spent most of my early days, but I always knew this was the place I belonged for I was born here. What kind of association I have made of this city remains to be found, what I was wondering then was that how lonely I suddenly felt when I saw the city from a distance, a silent broken tearing voice inside said, "You don't belong."

 Being so honest and sincere on a public platform is pure insanity but I am doing it. I couldn't care less.