When you try figuring out!

Sometimes when I can see you smiling, I can see you laughing; I know my things make you feel lighter. You actually laugh on my stupidity but I like it, because that’s how I make you smile or even for that matter happy for a second. You stay some place far, and I know our paths will never meet.

I know you are not the one, but like it’s said, the wrong ones seem to take your attention. It’s not actually about wrong or right, it’s about if you are the one or not.  Even when I know you aren’t, don’t know why but I seem to be getting too much into that, I may have fallen badly for you, but I still am aware of the reality.

You know about me, about what I feel, you understand me better than myself, we are good friends. What more to take into consideration, I feel now. You make me feel like a total stranger sometimes, and an awesome friend the other. You flirt like hell with me, and then we fight. I have learnt and got used to your mood swings, and you have taught me that a guy like you can never let his ego go off.

After a touch of reality actually came into being, some things changed, my perception did. I saw you as a total stranger. People are not what they show off to be. They not just hide and play, but also are untrue to their own selves. What am I supposed to feel right now? Do you have an answer for that... I don’t know if you’ll read this or not, but I know you’ll have one... for sure.

You have taught me many things, but are you now trying to test me? Like trying to see if I am the same? I haven’t changed; I am just confused, as always. You know that too. Vacations are for enjoying, have god already decided to teach me something in them too? Oh common I can’t believe only I have to encounter such beings. It’s me who has hell lot of questions, my life can never be simple and plain, it’s always so turned, so twisted. I may call it the twisted fate.

I have tried finding answers, then the questions fade away and I feel safe, and again somehow new questions manage to find me. How much should I run? How much am I supposed to bear? Why am I the one to feel this pain and not him? He is cool; he is fine, enjoying a lot, why but me? Am I taking it too seriously, is this thing going to turn out to be all fake? Is destiny again leading me to the same end?

Will I again break like glass? And then try collecting the broken pieces? To mend myself, to try and heal it all and then look ahead for a new start.... the same?!!! Is this why it’s said, history repeats itself? Why me? Oh I am tired of the same, the same thing happening... I can differentiate now and I try to run away. People ask me why? But do I have an answer? None it seems...

I don’t know how, when and where exactly is this going to end. But I sure foresee its end. Somewhere down the line, I know this is going to be one big lesson. But I am open to it.

Try me! Get on! I am ready for the challenge!