The pressures...

When I first started examining life’s half burnt freedom it was very necessarily known that I had to do it always whenever I felt down to make myself more cheerful with a conviction. I was quite determined to do it that way, ‘cause I knew it was the only way to know the path of one’s own independence, and the quality of my own knowledge. How much was I in water and how much in dreams!

My post “Don’t wake me up” was on the lines that I just wanted to enjoy whatever I thought was nice and beautiful without any upsets and sorrows taking part in the blissful atmosphere... I intended to explore that side, and I did it. It was as if I was closing my eyes to the reality in front of me, for time being all was well but just when you know that you are going to be screwed up all hell breaks loose and you know very well that this is the thing I was running away from. It was all self exploratory drive I was on.

Now I am back, knowing that dreams are treacherous, they lure you to believe in what they intend to show. You love that life being fully aware that it’s not something which appears to be. It’s far more different; still we like it and go with it J

Dreams are good, which you are determined to make happen. I have them and so do other people. But only some succeed in making them true. Whenever I take a step further towards my dreams, with each step I feel responsible, trapped you can say and a sense of huge weight on my shoulders. Sometimes I doubt my ability, sometimes I doubt my dream itself, but in all this I have learnt one thing, dreams are the ultimate, they don’t betray you ever. If you have that power to foresee and plan, the future is rosy, hurdles are significant but stepping stones in making you reach your destination. The path is full of thorns but the final destination is beautiful, and you dream every minute every second of your life about it. It’s worth the effort.

Same has happened in my life, when the easy path was clearly in front of me, my love and my near and dear ones with me, I left all of it, and I choose the path full of thorns just to follow my dream. There was resistance, criticism and remarks of my family to face. I was going through a phase when no one could help me, except myself. It was the first and last chance for me to decide my future which was in my weak hands. But I was determined enough to make my hands strong, with it followed a decision when I knew what I wanted and slowly I am coming closer to it. No not realising the dream, but coming closer to start working towards it, this time with full vigour and courage. I become weak in my knees, standing also takes an effort, but I remind myself of the battles that await me and to step these like trivial ones in the hope of going further and further to realise one day that all the battles are won...

Now small things like broken hearts and failures don’t bug me anymore. I am past all odds, I won’t say that an emotional turmoil is overcome but I have the courage to face it and fight it. Now my heart is iron and nerves steel, no matter what I won’t feel sad, depressed or let down. I have decided to be victorious over all the pressures, all of them. If I could find a way through such a difficult situation then I can do lots more. So this was not the first and the last. It was the starting, the movie is about to begin which is lifelong.... J